Losing someone we love is never easy. All we can do is deal with it in the best way possible. It is a reminder from Life how important every moment is, how precious every single minute of our existence is. There is no time to waste.
When we love it is hard to let go, to accept its loss. It leaves an invisible scar of emptiness, unbearable and irreplaceable. How can we overcome such pain? Anger or culpability are definitely not the answer, although, in a first reaction, when in shock we all experience these inevitable emotions. It set us on a retrospective journey, of all the mistakes we have done, what we could have done more, better, our regrets and sense of hopefulness to correct it.
Steps of grief
Life doesn’t stop, regardless of how unfair it may feel, the sun will rise again, and again, and our life goes on. Acceptance is the first step. Wasting our own life only builds up more suffering. How quickly we bounce back is individual, as every person has their own healing pace. There are no standard rules for time. The lack of acceptance can play unconscious tricks, undermining the situation, like it never happened, although it only prolongs and repeats it, every time we regain consciousness. By accepting we trust the universe, that higher force that guides everything, and whose logic we cannot rationally, nor emotionally, comprehend.
Grief seems to be directly related to how much we love more than any other factor such as time spent together or social bounds (family, friends). The more we love, the hardest it feels. To let go of that love, is Loves hardest lesson of all. Every moment spent together should be cherished, every blessing, every lesson we have learned from them. That is what at the end matters the most, and the memories we will always carry within. They may departure physically, but leave a piece of them inside of us, a seed of their love and joy, in our hearts, forever.
Personally, I find it appeasing to remember how life is eternal, how each being is by essence etheric, an eternal soul set free from a denser body, a spirit returning to its basic form and source. We may not see or touch that being again, in this life, but we can feel them from the heart consciousness, by love and still communicate with them at will. I normally say to myself, I may have lost a “friend” but I gained an angel from above.